Reason No. 48723..................

why I can't wait for Spring!This is my neighbor's yard. Your looking at multiple grills, some crap, and his "outdoor walk-in closet". He's got tons of clothes form 1970 something hanging on clothes racks in there. I can't wait for the Spring because then my clear as can be view of this monstrosity starts to diminish a bit as the trees, vines, and brush between our properties fills in. When Norman gets loose, he makes a mad dash to this yard! I refuse to go back there and get him so I send Einstein.

This is the same neighbor that I saw "way too much" of one day. Did I tell you about him?
Here goes..........one day, before I was married I spent the night at Einstein's (now my home too). I woke up on a Friday morning and I had the day off but everyone else was working. I walked over to the kitchen sink and low and behold there HE (the neighbor) was wearing a shorty bathrobe (you know the kind that's only right above the knee in length) and rubber knee high rain boots. The best (or should I say WORST) part...................he was bent over pulling weeds out of his vegetable garden that is right next to my driveway! Even better.........no skivvies! Even more better..............his ass is facing me which means his saggier-than-I-ever-care-to-remember-jewels were dangling right in my view! They looked like that ones in the "Jack Ass" movie that the guy puts on as a prank with his shorty shorts.......do you know which ones I'm talking about?
I've since never been able to look at him without having an awful flashback!

Robyn  – (February 20, 2008 at 10:10 PM)  

We have a neighbor like that too. The best is during hunting season if they get any deer, they hang them in the back yard. which buts against ours, the dog goes nuts.
What a sight that moon must've been

jenny  – (February 20, 2008 at 10:22 PM)  

wow! that place is a dump? doesn't your city have an ordinance or something that would make him clean it up? too bad there wasn't an ordinance that would make him keep his underwear on! hahahaha!

girlymom  – (February 20, 2008 at 10:40 PM)  

Oh what a bad bad picture in my head!!! Ew! Now I am going to have really Really bad dreams! I hate to say I am related to (by marriage) people with a yard like that...grew up during the depression and can't get rid of a thing- useful or not, but at least they wear skivvies! Buy some curtains!

Have a good night.

Maria  – (February 20, 2008 at 10:55 PM)  

EWWW! That is SO gross! I feel sorry for you! At the same time, it's actually kind of funny.

Mary Alice  – (February 20, 2008 at 10:56 PM)  

Ewww...now I have to go wash my eyes out with soap!

Misty  – (February 20, 2008 at 11:18 PM)  

Ewwwwwwwwwww. Ewwwwwwwww. Ewwwwww. Excuse my while I gag. I've been in your shoes before... your eyes before. Bummer! Plant some evergreens for the winter time. Block that crap out with the shrubs girl!

Amy  – (February 20, 2008 at 11:22 PM)  

Oh, that's just wrong! I'm hoping spring comes soon for you too!

Kristi S  – (February 21, 2008 at 12:03 AM)  

ROFLMAO!!!!!! Too funny!! (For an outsider anyway ;)

kim-d  – (February 21, 2008 at 3:42 AM)  

BWAHAHAHAHA! I am having visions of Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation. Poor Norman could get lost in that back yard, and I don't even wanna think about what he could come dragging home from over there! I have a neighbor like that, too--his back yard is kitty-corner from my back yard. I try to ignore the best I can, but when he had a car parked back there, I had no choice but to call the city ordinance department on him. The lady seriously did not believe me, but once I convinced her it was true, the city did make him move the car and clean up back there. Give it a try; it's anonymous :)!

Leslie A. Collins  – (February 21, 2008 at 7:15 AM)  

OMG. I would have just died when you saw him in his robe pulling weeds. There must be someone you could complain to in your city? I would check into that.

Happy Days  – (February 21, 2008 at 7:38 AM)  

thanks for the visual!!!! Think Spring!!!

Michelle Leigh  – (February 21, 2008 at 8:42 AM)  

Oh you poor thing! I'm so sorry for you! I'm so glad I don't have neighbors like that!

Kellan  – (February 21, 2008 at 11:25 AM)  

Funny story - only now ... I am going to have that visual in my mind the whole day thankyouverymuch! I can see why you would want the trees to grow back - for sure! Have a good day Mary - see you later. Kellan

Amy  – (February 21, 2008 at 11:28 AM)  

hey mary,

didn't lisa have a guy near here who like to free ball it too? i think he went out and got the mail/newspaper like that!

you should make a flyer and post it up saying free stuff - take what you want. maybe people would empty him out!

shay  – (February 21, 2008 at 12:18 PM)  

oh that's just nasty!

We had a neighbor like that at our first house, not the jewel, but the yard. Unfortunately it was in the city so nothing grew to block our lovely view. We did have a fence but from the kitchen window...i could see it in all it's glory.
We did phone the city but I think he actually worked for the city so....

just jamie  – (February 21, 2008 at 12:35 PM)  

GOOD MORNING! Whew. What a special treat that must have been. (Yeck)

Zoe  – (February 21, 2008 at 1:22 PM)  

yikes. i have a naked neighbor too...but at least his yard is clean!

Lizzy in the Burbs  – (February 21, 2008 at 3:50 PM)  

Wow! That is quite a view you've got there! Is that a house or a trailer? Thank god for the bushes, huh?

Your story cracked me up! What a way to "meet" your new neighbor!

Lizzy

Denise H.  – (February 21, 2008 at 6:47 PM)  

I have a neighbor who hoards junk on the side of his house too. In plain view for us but not for him. I HATE IT! Last summer I snuck over to their house after they left one day and tried to organize some of it somewhat but it didn't help much.

Now that we are getting ready to sell our house it really bothers me and if we are unable to sell because of his junk I am going to have to have a talk with him.

As for the Jewels EWWWWWW that is Nasty, Sick, Disgusting and Gross!

kim-d  – (February 22, 2008 at 9:39 AM)  

Just wanted to drop by quick and tell you to have a good weekend, Mary. I'll talk to ya Sunday night!

Janice  – (February 22, 2008 at 11:26 AM)  

Shut up that is so funny and gross at the same time.

Last Sept I was in Vegas with some Friends and we were having a break from shopping in the food court, I looked over and happened to see a man sitting there with shorts on, but no underwear. Yep we could see right up to his jewels, It was so gross,yet funny at the same time.

Wonderful World of Weiners  – (February 22, 2008 at 8:45 PM)  

Saggy jewels are unlike anything else, aren't they? I was a CNA for years and saw my share of less than royal looking "jewels."

Hallie :)

kidzmama  – (February 22, 2008 at 9:34 PM)  

BlogHopping back your way!

Too funny. The visual was perfect. Eeewwww!

kidzmama  – (February 22, 2008 at 9:34 PM)  

BlogHopping back your way!

Too funny. The visual was perfect. Eeewwww!

Scarlett Wanna Be  – (February 22, 2008 at 11:31 PM)  

I hope it was just he weeds he was pullin'.

Honeybell  – (February 23, 2008 at 12:31 AM)  

Wow. Your memory is gonna stay with me forever . . .

DrunkenHoney~BlogHoppin'!

Anonymous –   – (February 23, 2008 at 3:16 PM)  

I got a good way to get back at your neighbor. Send Einstein out there wearing a shortie rob and just his willies!!! Good luck!

P.J.

Senora Patron –   – (February 24, 2008 at 1:40 AM)  

Hey don't be trashing that crib y'all! That's my brother's "doghouse" - when he gets kicked out of the house.

Nah, just kidding. He'd be mortified! :)

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