Letters to the cybersphere

I'm not trying to copy but I know it made someone else feel a lot better after her letter yesterday. Maybe it will bring my blood pressure down a notch or two tonight.

Dearest Norman,

Why? That's all I ask. Why?

Why did you take the chocolate cookie and run from me? Don't you know that chocolate is bad for you, that it could kill you if you have too much of it? I know, I know it smells so good. And it probably tastes real good too. But really, if you take something like that you KNOW I am going to be after you. You know that I am not going to hurt you. I never have and I will try not to in the future. Your first home hurt you, remember? This house loves you. Most of the time. But certainly not tonight!

I had things to do tonight. I had a "determined not to go to bed toddler" that was already wearing me out. I had a kitchen to clean. I had laundry to do. And I wanted really really badly to go out to my treadmill tonight. But no. Apparently you had other plans for me. You thought I needed to shampoo my rugs. Aren't there better ways to tell me than to urinate all over the place because I wanted the damn cookie back? Don't you know that you would have received a Greenie if you had given the cookie back? Don't you remember what the vacuum and carpet cleaner do to you? You hate them. So why would you want me to pull them out of the closet? Didn't you know that I was out of soap for the carpet cleaner and had to make a trip to the store for it tonight?

Norman, you are lucky to be alive tonight. Really lucky. You're lucky that I've already had to part with a warped dog once and really don't know if I could handle it again even if you are only a measly 10 lbs.

Next time, just drop the damn cookie.

With love,
your no. 1 master

Robyn  – (March 11, 2008 at 10:28 PM)  

Totally relate. I've given up trying to retrieve anything from him any more, he's to darn fast. I've almost broken him from eating out of the girls snack dishes. I'm waiting for kidney failure with all the grapes he's eaten. Which I didn't read was bad for dogs until after he's eaten a boat load of them.

Misty  – (March 12, 2008 at 12:58 AM)  

Now how could some one be mad at a dog that wears cuter jammies then me?

kimmy  – (March 12, 2008 at 9:31 AM)  

How cute is that dog? Love the PJ's!

Kimmy

just jamie  – (March 12, 2008 at 11:17 AM)  

Norman and my little beast could be really good friends. Two Words: Hershey Kisses (yes, plural). That's the "treat" Miss Molly the Beagle found.

P.S. Tagged you for some homework over at my blog. :)

P.P.S. Like the new look of your blog. Inspires me to spring-clean my own.

kim-d  – (March 12, 2008 at 11:41 AM)  

Norman, Norman, Norman! He came from a place where they were not nice to him??? Okay, I can't even think about that type of thing because it makes my blood boil and I become homicidal. I do not understand how anybody could mistreat an animal, even a misbehaving one. But I digress, cause I know that was his previous home. And that's not to say that you don't sometimes THINK about it a little, when he really, really deserves it...like after he's stolen a chocolate cookie and peed all over the place. Here's the good part. It sounds to me like the workout you GOT was more strenuous than what the treadmill would have provided :). BWAHAHAHAHA...sorry, Mary, just couldn't resist. I'll wrap up by saying, I hope the letter helped, and I'm glad Norm got to live to see another day...

Lizzy in the Burbs  – (March 12, 2008 at 2:21 PM)  

Oh, I love his little face! Norman the pajama wearing, chocolate cookie eatin' puppy, too cute!! Sorry he ruined your evening, but with a face like his, you can't possibly stay mad for long, right? :O)

Lizzy

Kristi S  – (March 12, 2008 at 3:40 PM)  

Norman! Bad dog!! LOL.
Don't these letters make you feel so much better after writing them??!! Except for when you remember how mad you were! LOL

Law Student Hot Mama  – (March 12, 2008 at 4:32 PM)  

I highly recommend "Nature's Miracle" to remove pee. Um . . . not like I have any experience in this department or anything . . . *ahem*

Janice  – (March 12, 2008 at 5:51 PM)  

Oh my heck that dog is so cute. But Norman you need to drop the damn cookie next time.

girlymom  – (March 13, 2008 at 1:52 PM)  

NoooorrRrmmmannn~ BE NICE!

With that said, now I can gush over how cute he really is! PJ's for the pup, how sweet! I think I would be more upset about wasted chocolate than over messy carpet~ Norman, Norman...don't you know it's a crime to waste perfectly good chocolate! :)

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