Heavy Guilt

Internet, last night it hit me.
And it hit me hard.

There was Thomas Trouble, sitting in his bed like he does every night looking through books.

Last night however, he wasn't looking at his usually books. He was looking at two little photo books of when he was a widdle baby.

He loves doing this.

What got me though, was when he got to the end of the pictures and saw the empty pages.......

"Mama, you need to put more pictures in. Why did you stop?"

Yup Internet, it was a dagger to my heart.
It was a great big "you suck!"

"Mama, you need to put some pictures of me big in here."

I felt like saying, "Oh Thomas, you think that's bad? Your little brother doesn't have ANY photo books!" but then I realized I'd probably breakdown in tears if I actually said those words, so I didn't.

I just told him that I would DEFINITELY add pictures to his photo books.

And I again I refrained from telling him that I have a BUNCH of photo books waiting to be filled.........I might have cried again.

Internet he's well past four years old and I have miserably failed at keeping photo albums.

This is what I hate the most about digital photography..........I never develop pictures unless they are being given as gifts. In the "old" days, I couldn't wait to use up a roll of film to be able to "see what I captured". In fact, most times I'd buy a little photo album when paying for my developed pictures. It was so easy.

Not any more though. I take a million times more pictures and then they just take up my hard drive.

You know what's worse......our old dog, the one that we only had for EIGHT months......

He has more pictures in albums than Thomas Trouble.

The guilt.
The guilt is so heavy.